Remembering Sunday
by lolfan100
Summary: A oneshot about Female Lone Wanderer and Amata.


Ellie spent months retracing her father's footsteps after he left the Vault. She experienced the metaphorical hurricane he left in his wake. Even months later she still couldn't believe how much her life had changed because of one day. Everything she knew came crashing down on top of her. For 19 fucking years she lived in Vault 101 with only two people in her life; her father and Amata. To say she didn't want to leave Amata was an understatement. That girl had been the only person to get close to her in that entire vault. She'll never forget what she felt looking at Amata for what seemed to be the last time.

Ellie want nothing more than to grab Amata's hand and never let go. But she knew she couldn't. She knew that Amata couldn't leave, and she knew that she had to leave.

Lips stuttering and eyes flooding with tears, Ellie hugged Amata as tight as she could. She could feel Amata shaking with tears of her own. When they finally broke the hug, Ellie didn't know what to say. What the fuck do you say to someone who has been your world for 19 years? How do you tell them that you have to leave them for probably good? What can you say? What can you do? She wanted to tell her that she loved her and has for a long time. She knew that her feelings were probably inappropriate in a world where survival is key, and love takes a backseat to surviving. She just didn't care, because, fuck, it was Amata.

Amata grabbed Ellie's hands and held them for a moment or two. They both looked down dismally at the intertwined hands and then back at each other.

Ellie couldn't take it anymore. "Amata, I can't fucking leave you! What am I supposed to do? I have no idea if my dad is alive or dead, and I can't lose you! I'll have nothing!"

"Listen to me, Ellie, I know you don't want to leave...and I don't want you to either. I just can't let my dad have the chance to hurt you."

"Shouldn't I help clean up the mess my dad made? He didn't seem to care when he just fucking walked out of our home!"

Amata looked at the emotion in the girl's eyes, and she felt herself falling to pieces. Amata never wanted anything like this to happen. She didn't know why James didn't tell his daughter about what he was planning to do. All she knew was that it hurt Ellie. From all her father's preaching, Amata knew exactly what happened to people who left the vault. She wanted to just fall to the floor and cry her eyes out, but she had to be strong for Ellie. She couldn't make this any harder than it already was. Letting go of Ellie's hands, she took her own and put them on the girl's face.

"You know that he was just trying to protect you. Just like I am now. Now, please, before you get caught just go!"

Amata was unable to control the droplets threatening to pour from her eyes and turned around, but Ellie caught her wrist and stopped her dead in her tracks.

"I love you." Green eyes met hazel eyes. Ellie had done her best to put all her emotions in those three words. She wasn't sure if she was ever going to speak to her again, so she wanted to make sure that Amata knew.

Unsure of what exactly the other girl meant, Amata found her tongue moving and spilling the words back. "I love you too, Ellie."

A fleeting moment of exchanged expressions passed. Their faces were full of love, anguish, panic, and something else that was hard to describe.

Both girls ran in opposite directions not knowing if they would ever see each other again. Their stomachs dropped when they heard the vault door lock in place.

For weeks, Amata spent every night in her room crying. Sometimes she would go back to James' and Ellie's room. Ellie forgot her baseball cap, so Amata would hold it close to her chest and cry. The vault became a mausoleum of memories haunting Amata. Every corridor, every room, it all held the ghost of yesterday. The diner reminded her of Ellie's 10th birthday party. The classroom reminded her of the day Ellie kicked Butch's ass to protect her. Amata's room reminded her of all the times Ellie would be too tired to go back to her room, and they would just fall asleep next to each other on Amata's bed. Amata could hear both of their voices and every conversation they had. This all had a permanent space inside her head. Every square inch of the vault contained floating reminiscences.

She had just wished that she had figured out just how she felt before. Before disaster struck. She wished that she could have told her what she meant to her. She wished she could recite lines from those pre-war poetry books to the girl.

Her father was becoming something of a dictator and the violence was getting worse. So, on those nights, where she would look at pictures of her and Ellie, and clench the faded,red baseball cap... Amata would tune her radio to Three Dog's station. Every week she heard something new about this heroic "Lone Wanderer", and she just fucking knew that it was Ellie. It always made her smile despite wanting to be right there with her. She hoped that whatever James left for was worth it. He wouldn't just leave for nothing. There must have something he thought he could change for the better. For the sake of both herself and Ellie, she hoped that James would make it. She had a lot of love for that man too. He was more of a father to her than Alphonse.

Everything she lost, every minute of despair, and every moment of frustration had led to this. Ellie found James and found out why he left their life as they knew it. Her father was working on something noble, and she wanted to be a part of it. She had come too far, almost died too many times, and seen too much to turn back. Then, like some sick joke, she found herself staring through a window and standing helpless as her dad sacrificed himself. The glass fogged up from her labored breathing, and tears were running down it like rain. Doctor Li gingerly turned her away from her father's body, and they both left the building and James.

It felt so fucking surreal. She went all over the fucking Wasteland to find him and he just dies. Of course he had to be the fucking hero. That was just like him. Ellie was starting to wonder if this was what surviving was all about. Losing everything you ever cared about to an uncaring world. James and Amata were the only people to be proud of her. They were the only people who actually gave a damn about her. Now they were gone. No matter what she did, her dad always loved her and would do anything for her. Amata always understood the other girl and supported her through anything. She just couldn't believe that she didn't have them anymore. No more late nights talking about everything and nothing with Amata. No more warm hearted, "I love you's" from her dad. No more nerve calming hugs from either.

With her feet guiding her more than her head, Ellie just wanted to go to her home in Megaton and never wake up. She was sure she had experienced every type of loss there was. Never knowing her mother, watching her father die, and having to say goodbye to Amata. She just didn't want to feel anymore, and she had no clue what her life was. She didn't have the vault anymore, she didn't have her dad anymore, and she didn't have Amata anymore. What the fuck was she meant to do? Be some savior of The Wasteland? Not that she didn't love helping people, not that she didn't love saving people, but she knew it wasn't enough to get her though the loneliness and pain.

She never wore her Vault 101 suit after leaving. It wasn't just because she was pretty much exiled, but because Amata's scent was still on it. She didn't want the dirt and the blood and the grime of The Wasteland to destroy it. Old science books often said sense of smell was the strongest link to your memories. Maybe they were right, because every time she held the garment up to her face it took her back. It took her back to her father telling her and Amata about pre-war life, it took her back to every time she held Amata when she cried , and it took her back to the day she first received her BB gun. It always took her back to her home. The smell of the other girl was keeping her alive. All she had now was the damn suit, her regrets, and The Wasteland.

As she was about to take a break from traveling, she heard an emergency frequency pop up on her pip-boy.

"This is an automated distress message from Vault-Tec: Vault 101. Message begins: It feels like you left home a long time ago, but I know you're still out there. I just hope you're still alive to hear this. Things got worse after you left. My father's gone mad with power. If you can hear this, please stop looking for your dad and help stop mine. I changed the door password to my name. If you're hearing this, and if you still care enough to help me, you should remember it. Message repeats-"

Not having enough time to think about how her heart beat quickened at the sound of Amata's voice, Ellie shut it off and headed for Vault 101.

An hour or so later, she finally reached the large, intimidating door of Vault 101. Her hands were shaking as she typed the password. Just seeing Amata's name again made her fingers shake. The idea of stepping foot into the vault made her breathing unsteady. Watching the door slide open, Ellie quietly slunk in. On her way to father's clinic, she heard footsteps behind her.

"Stop right there! I don't know how you got in here, but...hold on." Ellie spotted a familiar middle-aged man in the dark.

She saw Officer Gomez put his gun down and sprint to her in incredulity.

"Ellie! You're back! How-"

"I got the distress signal Amata sent out. What the fuck is going on, Gomez?"

Closing his eyes and sighing exasperatingly he said, "It's gotten real bad since you and your dad left, Ellie."

"Fuck." She let slip with a poisonous edge on the last syllable.

"Where is Amata? Is she okay? She isn't hurt, right?!"

"Don't worry, she is fine. I can take you to her right now! Follow me."

Her breath caught the moment she absorbed the sight of Amata. She looked just as beautiful as always, but she seemed troubled and depressed. She didn't realize she had been staring until she heard gasps all around her.

Amata looked up from her notebook of ideas she had been jotting down.

She took in every detail of her best friend that was standing before her. The girl looked like she had been through hell. Bruises littered her body, she saw fresh scars, dirt stains on her armor (not vault suit), and her eyes looked bloodshot. Yet, she still managed to look perfect to Amata.

"ELLIE?!" The rush of feelings in Amata's veins wasn't happiness. Happiness couldn't come close to describing it. It was more like exultation, more like love.

"She came she actually came! I'm seeing her again! Oh god, I get to hear her voice again." Amata caught herself almost saying her reckless thoughts aloud.

"Well, well, look who's decided to come crawling back." Susie Mack said snottily. She lost all her snark when Amata glared at her.

"Shut the fuck up, Susie! She's not crawling back; she's here to save our asses."

Ignoring everyone else completely, both girls wrapped each other up in a warm embrace. The feeling of eyes burning holes in their skin became too much and they let go.

"Amata, what the hell is going on here?!"

Amata explained the situation to Ellie. After she and James left, there were two factions of people in Vault 101. The rebels who wanted to keep Vault 101 open, and her father's group who wanted to keep it shut. Her father became more paranoid and controlling than ever. The security force would put down rebels on sight. Amata had tried and tried to break through to The Overseer, but attempts failed and he just kept spiraling out of control. Ellie was her last hope of convincing him to back down.

For years and years, she hated Amata's father. Not just for how he treated her father and her, but for how he treated Amata. Like no matter what she did she wasn't a good enough daughter for him. To top it all off, he was a narcissistic asshole. She was still just as furious at him as the last time she saw him, but she knew she had to control herself for Amata's sake. After listening to him insult her father, insult her, and make her dangerously close to punching him, she managed to convince him to cease fire. It wasn't easy but she reminded him of the hard truths of this world. Nobody knew better about them than Ellie. He not only stepped down from The Overseer position, but passed it on to Amata. He apologized to Amata and the rebels then announced his resignation. He didn't look too pleased when cheers resonated in seemingly the entire vault. Everyone thought it would much harder for Ellie to convince him. But it wasn't. Ellie could see it in his eyes. The old man was tired, not scratch that, exhausted of being The Overseer. He had thought he was doing good work, he sacrificed so much, betrayed his own people, and alienated his daughter. For what? For some sinister vision crafted by pre-war maniacs? He was done.

While Amata was busy getting congratulations from everyone, Ellie slipped away and left for her and her dad's old room. She wanted to let the girl have her moment. Amata would probably come find her when she was done.

It was heart wrenching for Ellie to look around in the old room. A picture of her and James triggered her sorrow. Holding back the tears, she decided to look at her old desk. The sentimental part of her was screaming out when she couldn't find her old cap.

"Looking for this?" Amata smirked knowingly, holding the object in question.

Ellie grinned widely back. "No fucking way! You've had it this whole time?"

Amata held her smirk and handed Ellie her cap back. If Ellie had to go, Amata really didn't like giving the hat back. It had been something of a life line to her lately. She hoped she could snag one of Ellie's shirts. Just something, anything to remind her of the other girl.

"Well, don't call me weird but it helped me a lot when I missed you. "

Ellie's face fell and her heart ached for the girl. She knew what she had to ask, and she was afraid of the answer. She drew a nervous breath. "So. What happens now?"

Amata gave her a somber look. "A lot of people still blame you for what happened. The vault can't take anymore in-fighting, and the situation is too delicate for you to stay. Not only that. You're a hero, that's why I have to ask you to leave. The Wasteland needs you more than us."

"Maybe more than I do." Amata thought with melancholy.

Even she couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth, but she couldn't say what she really felt. She had to be strong and not break down. She was The Overseer now, and she couldn't be selfish. It broke her heart to say this but she knew Ellie might have a chance of moving on. If anyone could make it out there... it would be Ellie. Amata knew that she would never get over this, but she had to be The Overseer now. She felt even more discouraged when she saw the look on Ellie's face.

Feeling absolutely betrayed and torn apart, Ellie vociferated, "Are you fucking kidding me, Amata! Fuck you! 19 years of being your fucking friend, coming back to save your ass and you are gonna toss me out? Is everyone forgetting that I didn't fucking want this to happen?! Oh, guess what Amata! My dad is fucking dead! Obviously that doesn't matter to anyone, because clearly I wanted that to happen!" At the end of her outburst she was in tears.

Not caring that Ellie might hate her now, Amata put her arms around her and held her tightly. She didn't know James had died and felt ripples of grief tearing through her. She now felt incredibly heartless for asking Ellie to leave. Looking at the girl again, she tried to just imagine what she has been through and what she has been feeling.

Amata put her chin on top of Ellie's head and whispered over and over, "I'm so sorry." Amata held her like that for a while, and Ellie sunk into her body. She wasn't sure whose tears were whose, but now their shirts were a mess. Ellie disentangled herself from Amata and went to leave the room. And probably the vault. Forever.

This time Amata grabbed her arm and stopped Ellie. "No! Please. Please don't go."

Their eyes met, watering, and Amata pulled Ellie closer to her. "Ellie, don't ever leave me again. I... I need you."

Ellie felt the warm tingle of Amata's breath on her skin, and didn't know what to say or do next. She heard Amata swallow. Suddenly she felt a pair of soft lips on hers. Every unsaid thought or emotion was expressed through their lips. It was all understood. When they broke apart they felt intoxicated.

The girl dubbed as "The Lone Wanderer" was looking around with a spinning head. She wasn't sure what happened was real, but to make sure she tried to speak.

"What are we gonna... I mean how do we-"

The other girl cut her off with a "Shhh..." Amata looked at Ellie pensively and then smiled, "I think I can convince everyone to let you stay, and to let go of their grudges. I...just... I don't want to be selfish. I know that you are something of a hero out there, and I don't want to stop you from helping people all over The Wasteland."

Finally letting herself understand why Amata was turning her away in the first place, Ellie grasped Amata's hands and gave her a warm smile.

"This is my home, Amata, and I know that the people here could use my help. I can guide them to The Wasteland and back when they make trips. And who says I still can't save people along the way?"

Amata grinned. Ellie continued. "I've seen some incredible things. I've watched scientists begin to purify water, and I've seen an Oasis full of trees and nature. The whole time, I wanted you by my side. I'm so sick of just surviving, Amata. I want to live not just survive."

Amata just looked at her with adoration and admiration.

"Okay." She said breathlessly.

"Really? You want to go through with this?" Ellie was beaming.

"Yes, I'm with you. Where ever you go, I'm going. I just need to know..."

Amata's eyes forming an ardent connection with Ellie's . "What does this mean? What do we mean?"

Ellie just shook her head. "I don't know. All I know is that I love you."

They both chuckled.

Amata slowly let her smile fall. She looked at the girl with tenderness and Ellie held her gaze.

"I love you too, Ellie."


End file.
